Day in the Life of Groundhog

June 30, 2008 (Monday)

Saturday was a ‘ nice-to-have’ day … Left early for Salcedo Village , Makati to avoid the MRT rush, going to Medicare office for my repeat lipid test …..arrived in Makati at seven , and did a first-time thing…. Walked from the MRT station to Salcedo V, passing Makati Ave ….. the first time I noticed the green triangle between Paseo de Roxas and Makati Av …. Looks like a big nursery …good to have that still in busy commercialized Makati …..Don’t we need those ‘urban jungles’, literally … There should be a law requiring each city to set a side an area for an ‘urban jungle’ ……. Green, green and more green, to counter act the pollution…. Passed by the Salcedo Village Saturday market , looked around and came upon a stall that sells organic herbal and vegetable juices like celery, parsley, sugarbeet , watercress , things that one doesn’t usually find in the ordinary supermarkets …. Bought three bottles ….. Had brunch there …of ‘laing ‘ in thick coconut cream sauce and fried breaded fish fillet ….Mmmmmm. I’m getting the hang of nutritious dining ….. ‘food as medicine’ is my eating tack , from now on .…This market makes me feel like I’m in the South of France , not that I’ve been there yet , but I will be …. Abundant produce of food, wine, bread, herbs, native craft, gourmet , spices …. The whole ‘sweet life’ - ‘dolce vita’ thing …. Leaving the place, I noticed there was an area with stalls selling art work …. Hmmm, I have to go back and check that out …. I hope it’s a regular feature of the Saturday market ….

One thing I noticed, since I started doing the morning or day pages (according to me …) is that I have started to have dreams again and remembering them when I wake up ….. Before, I had them very rarely … Could this mean that my subconscious is starting to be unblocked ? Hope so …..

The last day of June 2008 , half a year has passed . And nothing significantly radical and out-of-the box has happened…. Something that jolted me out of my rut ….. I can’t call it a ‘comfort zone’ , because I don’t feel comfortable where I am now … more like a feeling of stagnation and I positively hate it … I’m doing things here and there to break the prison bars I’m in , but they don’t seem to be enough …. God Help ! I know what I want and I’m doing what I can to help myself but nothing’s happening … so You really have to help me! Please and Thank You!! All I know that I have to focus more on my plan to work on my

‘artistic’ side ….. All I know is that I haven’t lived enough and to the fullest and one vital component of my life lived to the fullest is exercising these ‘artistic’ juices and parts-of-me …

I’ve noticed a growing state-of-mind and state-of-consciousness growing , albeit oh-so slowly, that there is no other option for me in the near future which happens to be my senior citizen years, but one of European travel and experience and full-fledged involvement in the design/art business , specifically in clothing and home furnishings design …. This is the only possibility that is going to happen to me after 2008 …. Even starting now …. If there is a new lilt to my walk now, if there is any determined look on my face right now, it is because of faith that what I am dreaming of now, what I am planning now, the hobby I am doing now , virtual travel , virtual fashion shows, virtual art galleries, the Slim’s courses I’ve finished and still doing now only point to one future , my dreams becoming reality …. As God’s plan for me …..

I feel like a seed in the dark, hard soil , with this tiny , tender sprout trying to see the light , the outside world of the reality of my dreams and plans,

God willing and I praying to God that it is so …. Pushing through the dark, rocky soil, sometimes devoid of moisture and water ….feeling like there is no progress and feeling that this has been going on for quite a time but still pushing on , sometimes determinedly, other times , routinely ….

One thing I’m certain , I’m out of this current rut … it would be a dereliction

of my responsibility to life , a shortchanging of the life that God has given me the death of my life if I don’t take any action towards fulfilling my dreams.

I never felt that to the core before. I know that from now on I’ll be giving more weight , the utmost focus to the things that will bring me closer to the realization of my dreams .

Five again ….. time to sign off ….. learned something but nothing that would drastically skyrocket me to the dream …..Well, there’s always tomorrow, tomorrow ….