Morning Pages , Again

July 26, 2009

I'm doing morning pages again, starting today ... but I'm not calling it 'Groundhog Chronicles' ... I'd like to think that I'm on a higher level than that ...(me .. pat , pat on my own back ... hey! who's going to do it but myself ... since no other human being really knows the still on-going internal struggle for growth and self-mastery that I've been going through since I became aware that there was a lot of things not so quite right and fulfilling with myself and with my life and the situations I was in). And doing the morning pages religiously does help in clarifying things in one's mind.. at the very least, it scrapes out the plaque that has accumulated in one's mind and heart. And I found , it does open up the mind, to be more flexible and accepting. So ...

I wish I could me more 'realistic' , practical and pragmatic and more mental in my approach and tack in life , but I found that I lean more towards the 'idealistic', the emotional, the artistic, the metaphysical and maybe mystic sort of knowledge ... but I've just decided that I will embrace my own particular natural tack and use that in my pursuing whatever stage of growth I am in. Those are the tools the God has equipped me with.
Looking back , I would say that I've undergone struggle for growth in a 'two-steps-back-one-step-forward-hopefully' sort of way .Through time I've gone through the mental/intellectual,spiritual,emotional-psychological, the physical aspects and lately I could say that I'm tackling the mind( as in its conscious/subconscious aspects). This stage was particularly pushed forward by my efforts to change the physical and material situation and circumstances for the better, by efforts to get myself out of a rut , out of a mindset that no longer was relevant to my growth as an individual. And to the new dreams,plans and life-directions that appeared in my mind.

Going through those stages in the past was just a first-cut, a first-pass experience. I know the learnings at each stage have not been complete and I know that I'm going to go through those stages/aspect again but on a higher level. I've read before that growth and progress is on a circular -spiral-helix sort of way,like a deja vu but on a higher plane or level each time.

So, I'm still thinking of a name to call these new morning pages ...' _______ Chronicles" or something ... It'll come...