August 06, 2008
· Good Morning God ! Thank You for the robust, handsome, fresh and refreshing ,green ,life-filled , chlorophyll-laden trees,plants,shrubs, herbs and grass … plants of all kinds now that the rainy season is here … It starts in June when the rain starts to trickle in after the browns of summer …. New beautiful life for them plants … I really pray that my spiritual life, mental and emotional life , my physical life gets reborn every so often … gets cleansed and renewed every so often ….
· Thank You for the wisdom of the ‘weeds and wheat’ parable …. I pray that I have understood enough of it and I pray for greater trust and faith in God … to be able to live through the ‘wheats and weeds’ in my life with peace, calm, serenity and optimism and hopeful actions , both in my outer and inner worlds and landscapes …. How dare I doubt , how dare I be so dark-minded, faithless, arrogant and proud to doubt that good will win in the end, always has been winning , in God’s own time …
I ‘ve always tried to put some kind of milestones in my inner personal growth .. like I have three months to go to 55 and I am thinking that those three months would write ‘fin’ in a good way to the inner turmoil and struggles I’ve had in the desert years , that I would have learned all the lessons and then beginning at 55 , en punto , live deliciously my dessert years … Yummy …
Heaven and paradise could be in my mind , if I wanted to . My dreams are actually realities in my mind and inner world … that’s where it all begins …. In God, trusting in God, I could be a Pollyanna and I would not be wrongly disappointed . … Looking back, my disappointments in this
world and in myself came from my lack of knowing at least a little about the parable of the ‘wheat and weeds’.
· Thank You God for my food today --- healthy , cholesterol –reducing diet of salmon fried in canola oil with browned garlic and red onions , with oil-steamed spinach and raw broccoli sprouts ( my indulgence ) , apples for dessert and snacks , bland oatmeal and lots of water .
· A thought occurred/recurred just now ….while studying the tutorials on data mining using the SAS Enterprise Guide , that at this stage in my life …. I should be moving on the tack ‘ learning how to learn’ and not just ‘learning ‘ new things, methods, techonology or whatever …. As they say ,the pace of the growth of knowledge is by leaps and bounds in this information age and with the aging brain cells it would be difficult to learn something in a jiffy as needed and retain that knowledge as long as it is needed ….. So ‘learning how to learn something ‘ every time a ‘knowledge’ is needed , is the most practical tack …. I don’t know yet how that is done ….but we will do something about that … Remind me , later ….
· Time for me to be awed, overwhelmed , mesmerized and God-struck :
Daniel 7:9-10, 13-14
9 As I watched: Thrones were set up and the Ancient One took his throne. His clothing was snow bright, and the hair on his head as white as wool; His throne was flames of fire, with wheels of burning fire. 10 A surging stream of fire flowed out from where he sat; Thousands upon thousands were ministering to him, and myriads upon myriads attended him. The court was convened, and the books were opened. 13 As the visions during the night continued, I saw One like a son of man coming on the clouds of heaven; When he reached the Ancient One and was presented before him, 14 He received dominion, glory, and kingship; nations and peoples of every language serve him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that shall not be taken away, his kingship shall not be destroyed.
P S A L M
Psalm 97:1-2, 5-6, 9
R: The Lord is king, the most high over all the earth.
1 The LORD is king; let the earth rejoice; let the many isles be glad. 2 Clouds and darkness are round about him, justice and judgment are the foundation of his throne. (R) 5 The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. 6 The heavens proclaim his justice, and all peoples see his glory. (R) 9 Because you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth, exalted far above all gods. (R)
And this is one of my favorite scenes …. it happened in Mt. Tabor.
Matthew 17:1-9
1 Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2 And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light. 3 And behold,Moses and Elijah appeared to them, conversing with him. 4 Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” 5 While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud cast a shadow over them, then from the cloud came a voice that said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” 6 When the disciples heard this, they fell prostrate and were very much afraid. 7 But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Rise, and do not be afraid.” 8 And when the disciples raised their eyes, they saw no one else but Jesus alone. 9 As they were coming down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, “Do not tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”
This thought has been recurring in my mind --- better pin it down on ’paper’ to give it rest ---- that to be able to produce, educe or create anything of beauty , one must basically have beauty inside, in one’s mind, heart and soul.
It’s not about clinging to the past . It’s more of turning things around -- creating beauty from things of the past , that are still useful for the present.
Of course, the altogether bad things of the past , those without redemption value have to be discarded and destroyed into non-existence , but both the beautiful things and ugly things of the past that could still be redeemed … which are now ashes , in a sense , because they are the past … can be turned into something of total beauty that will serve the present and the future. True in both the inner and in the external realms …. So , case in point , I intend to transform the physical bits and pieces , trinkets, pieces of cloth and accessories that I was so fond of buying in the past into some kind of a quilt or fabric art piece ….
Well, it’s a free-wheeling work days this I’m finding myself this week. Nothing planned for the rest of the week until Friday. Will use the time to tutor/torture myself in use of the Enterprise Miner.
If anybody has any complaints about my performance --- I can’t do anything about that anymore …. I know I’m trying to do or doing my best within the conditions and circumstances I’m in… anything more than that will be detrimental to my health and the state of my soul …. I’ve been plaguing myself that other people may not think well of my work or what I’m doing. I will not do that anymore … I’m doing what I can do and my best … and I know that I'm trying to improve myself each day ....maybe it’s still nor par with other people’s ‘expectations’ …. Well, I just have to leave them be to God . I don't think God created me for the purpose of kowtowing to every one's expectations. And it would be arrogant and prideful for anybody to think that their 'expectations' of me is my life work .
No comments:
Post a Comment