Darn it , I was happy as a child when I knew nothing about such high-fallutin' things. I did not have things , I did not crave for toys, clothes, what-not. I did not dream of grandiose dreams like saving the world or be a super-human or being in the top of my class in elementary school (which I was, by the way. But then I had the same bunch of classmates year in and out ). I just lived, played, studied, went to school, bathed in the rain, laid down on the grass or on our rooftop at night to see countless, overcrowding stars , did chores, fought with my siblings, pouted when my mother told me to do things when I'm not in the mood , fought with my high-fallutin' rich neighbor's kids .... cried when I had to, but I was darned happy ... I did not of anything as a problem , even when the not so-nice things were not a cause for sadness or despair ... there were rich kids in the neighborhood who were not allowed to play with us, but I didn't feel that I was discriminated against for being not rich . Basically. I was happy within myself. Basically, happiness was happiness itself ... it was not contingent on anything, anybody else or on circumstances .... There was no cause for it, basically, it was just there, inside.
Growing up and being exposed to the world of adults and the world at large, somehow that kind of state was slowly eroded and a new illusion set in .... that happiness has an external cause .... and things that were happening outside that caused sadness , frustration, despair, doubts and fear swept away that causeless kind of happiness .... Having gone through that and seeking the feeling of happiness again in this adult world , the kind of happiness when I was a child came back to mind ... I need to take back that kind of internal causeless happiness .... that would be a potent personal force that will help me ride the waves of this complex adult world.
No comments:
Post a Comment